Wednesday 28 August 2013

A group of girls.

In a small restaurant in the suburbs of Mumbai sat a few girls or should I say young women. They all were in their late teens and were going through that phase of  "what kind of boy?". So, they sat there  like very other day and discussed the same topic and looked at grown men coming and going out of the restaurant.
On of them started by saying, "Daniel Craig is so good looking!" and the other three girls looked at her in confused looks. But she went, ignoring their expressions, "I saw Skyfall yesterday and all I could think through the film was "OH MY GOD, he is who I want." the girl beside her said, "yes so 100 million other women and at least 50 million other men."And everyone burst out laughing.
"But seriously guys what is it that we want? I mean, have we ever given it a thought?"said one.
"I want a good looking, intelligent,smart,rich..." she was going to go on when one of the girls cut her off and said, "Yes, are you going to marry 50 men?, I mean realistically! What exactly are we looking for?"
Then one who was from a conservative family, who was well aware that she was from a conservative family said, " I am going to have a string of relationships with all kinds of boys and marry a person that my parents choose for me." when she said this the others looked at her trying find a hint of laughter but she was very serious. They didn't ask her more because they all knew her family.
"Moving on" said one of them breaking the awkward silence, "What about you guys?" she went on.
Another one said, "I want him to be fun, I have just one condition and that is DON'T BE BORING!, and you?" she said to the girl  who had been quite throughout the conversation.
She said in a very soft but audible whisper, " I am going to ask him a question, only one question and that is how LONG is it?

Tuesday 27 August 2013

Parents.

I don't know about all parents but the ones I have met are pretty .... a well, I don't know the word... I think I will go with mentally aged!
And that makes me wonder, what happens to a person when a child is in the picture. Is there some switch in their head that just switches off and they go from being fun people to worried and angry people. Honestly, is there really a way of knowing. And will we also turn into something like this?
No! no one really wants be that wining woman or that angry man who just care about their daughters hair or their son's grades. Well, at least I hope not.
Imagine a nine year old girl telling her father.
" When I grow up I want to be a mother" and then the father says " No! my dear, that's a bad idea."
and if the girl is one of those inquisitive brats she will go on and ask, "but dad you became a father and mom became a mother, so why not?
"Well, look where that got us!"
Honestly, take Indian parents for an instance, they used be amazing people before they got they decided to have sex without a condom!
What suck all the fun out of them? Is it really the child? If it is then why do they want to have it in the first place?
Is it about getting bored! Do they like bored of each other and decide to have a baby.
and is there like a moment or something? like this,
One day sitting in that old living room having a drink I realized I don't have anything I want to say to my wife and thus, I tell her, " hey, babe I think it's time we have a baby!"
Does that happen!
Well, no one will ever know!




Monday 26 August 2013

Indian Clothing

 Indian Clothing For Women.

I mean really why? why?
Why do we even have this shit?
 I believe the first  thing we ever introduced was a sari!
Really that was what we wore, a long piece of cloth!
 Imagine a man going, "hey what do wear?"
 And the woman going," a piece of cloth".
 And the man going, "That's it! That's easy. Its easier than what we have here. all the leaves and animal skin.  Hey i think i will fuck you!"
 He then thinks to himself that he wont smell like leaves once he is done with her.
 And the woman happily going over and when he sees her, he has the shock of his life. turns out for two minutes of pleasure he has to spend 25 minutes on getting her naked. And after that they are so exhausted that its not even fun!
I mean seriously who the hell came with idea of a sari and the ones we have now are even more pathetic. They have gold and mirrors and stones and coins and barley paintings and scenery.
I recently went shopping with my mother, she wanted a sari. And we went in to this  beautiful shop with amazing lighting and lovely oil paintings. The salesman started showing us the latest saris and one of them actually had a woman's picture on it, who is also dressed in a sari with a earthen pot on her head. It got me thinking who would wear that? I mean really, are there women who consider themselves so ugly that they want a face of another woman on their sari just take the attention away!
surprisingly when my mother tried it on all we could see is the woman's breasts. not my mothers but the woman on the picture.
So now you know who will wear it.
Sonam kapoor!